Feeling Like A Fraud: Exposing the Lies of Imposter Syndrome
Have you ever found yourself thinking “I don’t belong here”, ‘I’m a fraud”, or “someone’s gonna find out that I’m faking it”? If so, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You might be surprised at how common these thoughts are, and by who thinks them. There are many celebrities who have described feeling this way, and you may have heard the term “imposter syndrome” used to describe these types of thoughts. In fact, imposter syndrome has become somewhat of a buzz phrase, and there’s a reason for that.
Many people experience feeling like they don’t deserve to have the job they have, or that they’ve tricked everyone into thinking they’re smarter or more capable than they actually are, or they’re not good enough to be where they are or have what they have in life. It’s more than just low self-confidence (although that’s a part of it), it’s repeated feelings and thoughts that may point to a deeper belief system. Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern that affects people across age, gender, profession, and achievements.
Why do I feel like a fraud?
Imposter syndrome, and the beliefs associated with it, are often shaped by a blend of personality traits, a person’s upbringing, and the social expectations a person perceives are placed on them. Sometimes, people with imposter syndrome have been told (through words or experience) that their worth is tied to what they can do, or what they know, or what they can achieve. For example, a child who feels pressure to do well in school and is praised for what they know and is labelled “the smart one” can begin to develop an anxiety around not knowing something, leading them to overachieve in order to keep their image and identity intact. This can lead to an adult who overcompensates for a fear of being “found out”.
Anyone can experience imposter syndrome, but it’s most commonly seen in people who are high achievers - people who set high standards for themselves and strive for perfection. When you’re aiming for perfection, any mistake or flaw feels scary - it might mean that you’re actually a fraud, which creates a state of anxiety that you try to mitigate by achieving even more. When you achieve your goal, you then dismiss it as luck or as a result of your extra effort instead of your actual ability (and the cycle continues!)
Imposter syndrome also shows up in minority or underrepresented groups, like women in STEM or minorities in leadership. These groups might feel more pressure to prove themselves, which can make feeling like an imposter worse.
Why is it a problem?
Imposter syndrome can be a problem because it makes you feel less confident in your natural abilities, which can stifle your potential, and creates unnecessary stress and feelings of burnout.
When you constantly doubt your own abilities and attribute your success to luck or external factors, you might avoid taking risks that move you forward, or you might avoid speaking up for yourself and stepping into what you deserve.
Over time, the self-doubt that comes with imposter syndrome can lead to anxiety, chronic low self-esteem, and even depression. From a broader perspective, imposter syndrome can create an unhealthy environment in workplaces and schools, where high performers feel isolated and unsupported despite their achievements. Addressing it isn't just about boosting confidence—it's important for overall well-being and success.
How do we break the cycle of imposter syndrome?
Challenge your Thoughts
Start by recognizing thoughts like “I’m not good enough” as thoughts, not truths. You can reframe these thoughts by reminding yourself of what is real and true.
“I may feel like a fraud, but my accomplishments are real.”
“Feeling anxious doesn’t mean I’m inadequate.”
Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion—treating yourself with kindness instead of criticism—can remind you that it’s okay to be human. You’re allowed to make mistakes and still be worthy.
Write down your successes
Write down achievements and the things you’re proud of. Reviewing them when you’re feeling like a fraud can help ground you in the reality of what is true about you and your successes.
Talk About It
Imposter syndrome can feel really isolating, but you’re not alone! Talking about it will remind you of how many others feel the same way, and can help you avoid comparing yourself with others' successes. Whether it's a mentor, a friend, a family member, or a therapist - talking helps.
Redefine what is means to be competent
Remember that competence doesn’t mean knowing everything, never making a mistake, or never needing help. Even experts ask questions, make mistakes, and keep learning.
Imposter syndrome doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human. Your ability to question yourself may even be a sign of your desire to grow. However, you deserve to feel a sense of pride and confidence in your own achievements and success. Your work is valid. Your efforts are real. And you are not an imposter.
Seeking professional support with a therapist or counsellor, whether in person or virtually, is a great place to start. We are here for you! Get Connected
About The Author:
Cassia Tayler, Registered Provisional Psychologist
Cassia enjoys the great outdoors, creativity, the fine arts, music, and working with teens, individuals and couples in identifying barriers to wellness and creating lasting positive change.
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